With this ditigal writing I will prepare you for the upcoming change in how you can gather the news.
Soon there will be no newspaper anymore in our mailbox, that, often, peaks out a bit.
That the newspaper now and then is visible for people who are passing by, is for most of them not a problem. They see it and go further, eventually buying their own copy. Yes, dear Thief, there are people that do so. Those people simply buy from their money somethng what then belongs to them. Not like you. You do work, but appearantly you not feel happy with it and are only then happy when you can steal the newspaper from another. Every day you stole 1€20 from us, do you realize how many the total amout is?
It must be easily over 100€. How often I told the newspaper office about it, and ask the newspaperboy (who is a girl, actually) to put the paper better in the mail box, because some softy can not keep his hands from things that not belong to him?
I suppose you are a he. He's are known to be more cowardly, and who feel more 'cool' when they can read a news paper in a pubic place. And? Did it work?
Did you impress people with showing that you can read? Was it difficult to hold the paper not upside down?
Did you feel relaxed, every time you put your stinky fingers at OUR newspaper, and read it later? Was that bringing you more satisfaction then any other thing in your life? I bet you are a single person, and wondering why no one wants a relation with you!
You had a relation with us, however. We know from it for years, and you have no idea how long we know it already. You also have no idea how we look like. Every time you put your stinking flaps at our news, you had to be quick, and sneaky, so that no one could catch you.
I did think about catching you, you know? I wanted to go to stay at the other side of the street, to see how you were doing this.
But I was a coward. I did not want to stand up so early and 'just wait' for a poor little stinker (I bet you did not grow over 1.70, huh?) to be catched. And you know why? Because I think you are not worth the fuzz. You are such a small miserable looser, your ego is far below zero and you never can walk up with your head in the air, enjoying life. Am I rigth? See?
In a way I feel sorry for you. You are such a coward, that you needed to make good days with stealing 1.20€ each day (!!), you were not even able to use your own resources for being valued!
I take it that you are one of those office workers. Going early to work, before the chiefs are there, showing that you are early there and then leaving early for home again afterwards. Stealing that hour or two from your bosses as well. And you feel proud about it, right?
No reason to be proud on it at all, baby. When you want to be good in stealing from other people, you should be like Trump and simiilar bandits. Who steal big money and get fucking rich with it. Because only then you might be able to compensate your miserable ego with money.
Not with stealing a newspaper, what, at the best, in a way ends in the litterbox of the cat (it is not that easy to steal those litter bags, huh, you do not even dare to, huh?)
But most likely you drop the newspaper in a bin. Most likely so, that even the people who live at the street, can not read it anymore. That, my dear newspaper thief, are the people who I care for.
So, why I am writing you this, finally, without even knowing your shitty face? Well it is to warn you. I know you won't read this, most likely you don't even speak (or read) english. It is also as well for me, to finally say a word to you, something that I did not dare in real life.
The newspaper goes digital, baby. Soon you will not need your f cking hands anymore to get the paper out of the mailbox, OUR mailbox. You won't need to explain, or hide, the first pages because you do not dare to explain why they are thorn.
You will no longer read the paper at our expenses. And I am 100 per cent sure that you will not buy any paper instead. I am convinced that the thrill was not because you so desperatly needed the news. You needed the thrill, to steal 1.20€ Like when I was a kid, that I stole an applle from the grocery store. That was my game, when I was 10 years old and 'just a boy'
I do hope and pray that no one needs to share your miserable life, what most definitely is filled with small misserable bloops.
I will enjoy my digital newspaper, every day. And when I walk along my mailbox, I shall smile.
Game over, sweetie. Game, set and match lost.
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