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Donnerstag, 30. April 2015

miscelaneous

Some questions.  Some messages of a more serious art. Some irritations, and some happiness.

Let me start with the bad things first :D

When someone is ordered into the hospital, at his holidays, and have to stay there for 2 weeks, then I can not help it but thinking that there is something not realy well.
I can not understand that, after this 2 weeks, the person is released, and feeling sad, while he can not go to his favorite work, at his release day.
 I love them, and it is their life so their choice, not of my business. If they think they need to smoke, they should do so. I love them. Period.  But I wonder still!  :-)


The worst thing is people that under the cover of being funny, put the pressure on him. With 'jokes'  like, I shall not be surprised to see him around anyway, those so called friends are not realy helpful in encouraging the patient to recover.  People that have, from nature, already a tendency to take those risks (lovers of life? living on the edge?), should not be encouraged, not even with jokes.

The next question is, why do I still stay in that 'get well soon'  group, that is supporting him, but that in fact is an extra pressure on him.
I will and shall not shut up.  I will and shall continue with supporting him, my way. He and his partner, they are in my heart, and even when their way of life is far from how I  should want to live, I DO love and care for them.  And I am not the only one.  I keep an eye on it and I will open my mouth when needed. And when it is too much, I simply will disappear. My love is there as well, so I can share with her and discuss with her the things, if I am confused again.

A positive thing now.  I did upload the poetry site with March and April and I love it. I also love the 'picture wisdoms', every evening I try to make a nice line at one of my pictures. People love it, I love it and now I found that proper way to upload them at  WP and publish them at Poetry in emotion, I feel very fine with it all.  Maybe I shall start the move from the poetry to the WordPress site soon, it is a bit more easy to have all in one hand. Future music, a lot of work but a lovelly thing to do. First migration project is the site of mom.  I urgently need to write brotherlove.  I will do it the coming days.

Tomorrow an extra day off together.  Saturday the photogroup.  Sunday no plans. A lot to consider. The Knights event?  The shops event? Fishing market? I want to go to Benrath, but then the weather realy needs to be good, at least dry and not that cold, I fear that that is not on order now.

Nice prospects, a meeting with Marci in June, a meeting with Peet in July.   Small things on the world map, but for me things to look forward to. :)

Oh, and I think I go to get a gift soon.  I do not know what to think about it,  but the fact that it costed about a good meal means already that I am very grateful for it, no matter if I like it or not. It brings me by my next question.  Some people like to please others, and give away more then they can afford.
It should make them happy to give.  I love to give as well, but I do try to bring myself not into trouble with it. Is it more important that others are happy then that you have a nice life?  I mean.. when a friend is getting into troubles for doing something just to please me, am I realy pleased with it, knowing what for suffering this brings to the other?

Can I be happy with something when I feel your pain?

Considerations, questions, and I don't search for answers.  :)





Dienstag, 21. April 2015

miscelaneous

A few short 'thoughts'  gathered together in this blog.

I (again) fail to write proper blogs, this time I blame the photography, taking a lot of time. There is always a good excuse, maybe I should learn to accept that I am not a blogger.  Maybe I can, later :-)

The story from 'Pediga' Edwin und Strohmänner Kalla und Norbert.
Erstmal unser rassistische Frauenfertichmacher.

Ich sitze im Park, sehe der Typ vorbei kommen, er dreht um und kommt zu mir, mit den Wörter: Haben wir streit?
Ich bin etwas überrascht, habe michselber jedoch unter Kontrolle und sage, pfft, Streit, mit dir?  Wenn ich mit jeder der ich nicht mache Streit haben sollte, oder jeder denen Ideeen ich nicht akzeptire, dann hatte ich gut zu tun.
Das Gespräch geht weiter über Dummigkeiten, ich stecke meine Hand zu ihm aus und nach eine große Verzögerung nimmt er ihm an. Ha, das jefällt der Nüsser Fründ nicht. Weg mit den Arschloch! No Racism, No Pedega, No Edwin.
Seiner Superstrohmann Kalla darft die Gruppe Nüsser Fründe moderieren als 'haupt admin'.
Ich bin da mal gut ausgerastet gegen E und KH, und das hat Strohmann 2, Thomson, nicht gefallen, also bin ich dort verbannen (und auf Facebook auch durch unseren Pedigast.. komisch, nä, das er fragt ob wir streit haben und das ER gleichzeitig mir verbannen hat. Ich ihm nicht. Meine Ban Liste ist leer, kein 'spook, kinner oder was dann auch drin)

Jedenfalls, einer meine Freunde wollte mir für den Gruppe einladen, konnt das nicht weil ich verbannen bin/war.
Nachher sie einen Abend zusammen versucht haben (na ja) mir in der Gruppe zu kriegen und ich weiter nichts gehört habe, habe ich der Kalla angeschrieben.  Da kam die Reaktion, du bist verbannen und das heißt das du nicht mehr in der Gruppe kannst, bitte komme zu uns mit einen andern Account. (er hat meinen 2.. Account schon einen FR (fruendschafts Anfrage) geschickt.

Jaaa, und er denkt das ich das mache? Bwhahaha, ich bin doch nicht blöd, oder?  Am 1. weiß ich das so eine Block in einem Gruppe gelöscht werden kann. Wenn er sich mühe gibt kann ich mit meine eigene Nahme wieder dabei, also, wenn er sich die Mühe nicht nimmt, soll ich so etwas machen?  Ich denke doch eher nicht.

Der Gruppe behalt ein paar nette Leute, ich habe noch ein bisschen mühe damit das eine der Personen dort meine Identiät nicht kennt. Sie ist nett zu meinen Freunden, leider auch befreundet mit Rassistchef. Ich überlege mich ob ich ein dieser Tagen das zu ihr verraten kann. Ich warte doch noch da mit.  Einer in der Gruppe weißt  es, aber weil ich sie oder er persönlich kenne, habe ich dort keine Mühe mit.

Auch keine Mühe habe ich damit wieder in der Admin Gruppe von der Photograph zu sein. Ich untertütze Jörg gerne, sorge dafür das die Welt der Fotografie nicht verlohren geht, das bleibt meinen nummer 1 Gruppe. So habe ich beide Gruppen im Auge.  :D

Mann, alles hier oben zurück lesend, denke ich das ichselber auch so einer bin als derjenige der ich all ihre Handlungen übel nehme.

Ob das so ist lass ich andern beurteilen. :)
Talking about behavior, I did do it again in our Queen group a well. I did tell someone, who was just new, and all the way did show her private life to another new member, that  we are a queen group and not a dating site.  LOL.
I told it to Sabine, who did laugh about it. Petra did laugh about it as well, Manu later also. They know me and how I mean it.  I know what such can result in, look to stacey, har and a few more, but the first introduction was, well, to say it mildly, remarkable :) they know me and the love me... much later :-)

The past week we did loose in the IAAW group one of the founders, Harold. Poor man, so long, that ill, and the ultimate, very british, gentlemen, never a wrong word from his fingers, even with him talking barely he did leave an enormous impact on us and will never be forgottten.
In our admin team the emotions did go high.  I did rudely back off one of the people. It seems to have worked, he did turn around and now reacts normal, what is sad and honest.  Sometimes we need to give a crystal clear, rude (shocking?) ttrearment, to get people back with their feet at the ground.
But, in the same team, there is another person, who handles the situation different.
Fully taken away with the loss of  Harold. And no one shall ever understand how this person is feeling. No one can ever understand that sometimes an internet person, who you never met in flesh, can get more into your soul and spirits then any other, no matter if it are childs, husband or friends.

I love that person, I feel and see the desperate attempts to give the sadness a place. It will take time. I want to be there, any moment. Told so and I hope this person will come to me. I am pretty sure.

Then, our dear Josef did get into the hospital again, after being out for only a few days. This time at his holiday address. I am very scared, and I  have seen/dreamt things.  I am pretty sure that in this time (as well as in Harold, who I saw as well) I am right with what I feel.  That's why I wrote a liittle poem, with the words, please, close the door, not let him in yet. A kind of prayer, plea, from an earthling to one who is not suffering anymore and is united at the other side with his wife and idol.


You just did step through the door
And It seems to be not yet closed
Please don't let it, now, be more
I am wishing that the most
I know, we can not foresee
But this feeling takes over me
Please do shut the door
I can not even think of more
Allow him not to follow you, now
I don't think I could handle that, somehow
Give me the chance to get up again
Soon I will return to be the good old man
Ready to face what will come, I am not blind
But please, oh please, let me not now already find
That you take someone so dear more
Please, oh please, do close up before
Don't let him step over the border right now
Please,
If you can
Do shut the door, somehow

Samstag, 4. April 2015

whoopsala

One day I start talking about the Kingbirds, next day the uproar starts.  With the better weather, the hobby photographers get out and try, at all costs, to get their golden image, and of course our Kingbirds are in the spot as well.

In our photo group, there are a few that follow them for longer time, and they did keep the places for themselves. Not that it is a thing that they don't want to share, but it is because that is how human nature works. The more people know about it, the more it will escalate and there will sooner or later be an idiot that disturbs it all and then they are gone forever.


I was proudly posting my birds in a photo group and then all the sudden two persons did dive at me, asking where it is and so more.  The H person, I have huge difficulties with for many reasons. I think I go to block him, just as I did with K.  I will see them in the city, for sure, but I do not need them to make good work with my pictures.  They can do that by theirselves.

the other person, J, is one that always stands up and shows that 'we'  are realy photographers and that we show that.  He did reveal the exact place and that realy did piss me off.  I have decided to not post any of them anymore. There are a lot more things to photograph, if he is realy that good he should do so.
Proved is, again, that there is more then just a camera to make yourself a good photographer. I am not a good photographer, but I am on my way to develop my own style.  I will go and look for the Kingbiirds, sure, but I will continue to find my own way and projects, with what I definitely have my fun. If it makes me a good photographer?  I don't know. But as well in photography I put my borders and my principles stay firmly. I keep away from the H's, K's, and J's. Fucking brownies they are.

Donnerstag, 2. April 2015

early bloopers and sweet revenches


Tsja,  dieses Jahr ist 'Eisi'  ein großes Foto Thema

Jetzt, wenn ich weiß wo ich suchen kann, finde ich sie (natürlich) schneller und ofter. Und es ist dann weniger eine Herausförderung sie zu fotografieren, aber eher wie ich sie am Besten kriege. Deshalb mein kleines Experiment auf Facebook und auch hier.

Die Eisvogel Stelle is einen Punkt wo die Fotografen einander manchmal treffen. Zusammen Eisi fotografieren ist halt nicht so einfach. Einen Schritt von einen Kollega und mein Knips war... zu spät!








Also, dann mal ein bisschen Einkaufen und auf den Rückweg nochmals versuchen


geht doch!