Love yourself

There are zillions of quotes that pass us, through the days. And for us, poor  FaceBook users, it is even more, because everyone finds some true quotes, what somehow touches them and that needs to be shared.

Often it are general wisdoms that are not directly reflected to the life of the person, at other moments it are summaries of the 'drama of the day'. Or, rarely, about the good of the day.
I see them too, I share them as well, but I try to stop telling the world negative things.  

No one of my friends/readers needs to read that when you dislike my behavior that you can shut up because it is my life. 

No one of them needs to read that I love curves above bones, or what the definition of love is, according to others.
There are others who find better quotes about it :)

That is why I share this picture.

I think it tells a lot from me.  I think it tells a lot of what I expect from others

I am a bit fed up from people that continue telling me, year after year, what I did do wrong in the past. I should like to see them stopping that, and trying to get peace with their past.

When I look into the mirror, what is not that often,  I want to see a person that is happy with how he is.

It is not a perfect person, there are things that should (and shall) be worked on

But it is a person that knows that he bears the consequences of his past

And who thinks he has the right to live now 

As a free man. Willing and daring to make the choices that will help him further in his life

Taking the steps that he thinks that is important

And that is being happy with everyone who is around me. No matter what your mistakes are, it is okay.  I learn from mine, and I do hope you can learn from yours.  I can forgive, and I dont need to forget the darkenss

I love myself. And because you are part of me, I love you too

Kon ik maar even bij je zijn

this is so funny

but only for who is dutch.

Door Alexander Brandenburg • zaterdag 28 september 2013

Een 36-jarige man uit Groesbeek blijkt al twaalf jaar met het lied ‘Kon ik maar even bij je zijn’ van zanger Gordon in zijn hoofd te hebben rondgelopen, zonder daar iets van te merken. Het lied kwam aan het licht toen de man na een hersenschudding werd onderzocht door een neuroloog.

Neurochirurgen hebben het lied direct verwijderd. Met de man gaat het goed, al is hij wel geschrokken: “Nu ik besef hoe ik door het oog van de naald ben gekropen, denk ik wel twee keer na voordat ik radio 538 aanzet.”

It is part of the plan

I wrote it before, and I can write it again, Coincidence, is part of the plan.  

Today it is proved again.  I got a message in the 'continueing issue', I didnt want to go to read it, but I did let myself being convinced to do it.

And it was not half as bad as I thought it should be. A repeat of moves, a repeat of 'beats' so no new, no reason for more feeling hurt. So, I am thankful that I did read it, even when the message, naturally, was not a nice one.  

And then, after having read that there was another email, about  a 'happy reibirthday'  workshop, in what you can learn to enlighten the pain of your past.

To me those are signs, as well as the pathe with feathers that I did walk through a few days ago.  I know it is a sign from my mom, from above, telling me something. The message is not always clear but it has something to tell me. At the moment I pull a lot of trength out of it, in facing the new situation. I did notice that i am not that much hurted at the moment with words and deeds.  I do notice that I am stronger, that I as well face 'things to do' better again.

It is a slow process, but when I look into the mirror, I know that I am back on my way up. And thankful for every day, thankful for knowing that I am not alone.  Safe enough behind our door (what is always open) . And as well happy in the street.  :) 

"When we are willing to touch the pain of separation—the loneliness, the fear, the hurt—our longing carries us to the tender and compassionate presence that is our awakened nature."

Poetry - De hoek / the corner

English below dutch, 

Mag ik je voorstellen

Aan een plek, die veel heeft te vertellen

Daar bij de muur, tussen die twee

De hoek bedoel ik ermee

De hoek, waar je mij vaak kon vinden

Als ik mijn wonden moest verbinden

hoe vaak ben ik er niet ingetrapt

Hoe vaak heb ik er geen tranen getapt

De hoek, mijn vertrouwde plek in slechte tijden

Je vind me er niet meer

Ik stap eruit, laat me niet meer verleiden

Niemand doet me nog meer zeer

Ik heb genoeg van haar trappen en slaan

Ik wil niet meer, het is gedaan

Mijn hoek is leeg

Het is genoeg wat ik kreeg

Genoeg om te zeggen, dat was de laatste tik

Eruit te springen en te zeggen Hier ben ik

Triomfantelijk kijk ik kom me heen

Het is minder donker, ik ben niet alleen

Niemand haalt me meer onderuit

Ik voel me sterk door dit besluit

Geen slagen meer in mijn gezicht

Geen donkere hoekjes, maar fier in het licht

Hier ben ik, trots als een pauw

Ik kan alles aan

dankzij jou

May I introduce to you

The spot that I did share so many to

You see those two walls, and there between

It is the corner that I mean

The corner where I was often found

When I was hurt and my wounds needed bound

How many times I was kicked in there

How often I did cry out there

The corner, my familiar place when things were bad

You wont find me there anymore for that

I am stepping out, enough it has been

I allow no one again to push me there in

I have enough from her kicks and the beat

I dont run to there anymore for my sorrow to meet

The corner is empty now

It has been enough, anyhow

It was enough, your last kick came to me

I am jumping out and set myself free

I step into the light, victory signed on my head

I like what I see, I tell you that!

I allow no one to tackle me any longer

This decission makes me so much stronger

No hits in the face anymore

No dark corners, no more sore

Here I am, proud and anew

I could not have done it

without you

 ©20- 09- 2013 Saturn voor DreamsUnlimited

Publication without permission is NOT allowed

Family

Do you believe in coincidence?

I do. I did and I shall. And the more I do believe in it, the more it turns out that everything happens for a reason, at exactly the proper place and exactly the proper time. 

Those days I am .more thinking about family then usually, for some not so happy reasons and then all the sudden thijs is in my mailbox.

It must be a sign.  Ha, it IS a sign!   

You told me that I did do things wrong in the past. That is, of course, no news to me. First of all, you told them  to me before,  in fact it is the only thing I did hear from you for years now.  So please, tell me something  that is more helpful for us then just a pointing finger '---> GUILTY

The news now is that that you are going to break the chain.  Now that was shocking news, it did cost me already 2 sleepless nights and there will be something more to come.  I dont think I did deserve this way of punishment, and after having felt guilty for a bit, I thought, what the heck, what am I doing?

When you, year after year, repeat things (hey you did do wrong --- yes I know---  hey, you hurted me -- yes I know--)  and then step by step make consequences with it as in getting less and less contact (and then telling me again that I never care), who is then to blame?

Not me baby, no way!  I am resposible for what I did do wrong, or, better said, what might have been done different.  If you want to tell me that, just let it, because you did it many times before.'

Now you break the chains definitely, without that we even did try to talk about it. I can not stop you from your step and I wont.  But whatever you do, dont blame me when you find out that this is not the solution to your problem. When you realy want to clear out the past, you should at least tell your story and listen to mine

It is the only way to get peace in your heart, when you know all sides of the story.
And such dramatic steps should be considered carefully, for they will put you on a certain road for the rest of your life, where it becomes almost impossible to turn back.

The procedures will take a few months, you wrote.  I do hope, and pray that you use that time smartly. And that you give yourself  the chance to hear the side of the story that you are so much willing to hear but that you never did allow yourself to.

Do it.  You know exactly what I did do wrong. When you can take this brave step in your life, be then so brave, for once and face the part of the story that will make the truth complete

P.S. Blodlines can not be broken.  The shares from the past can not be wiped out. You will find out that there is much more that binds us then just a name.  You also will find out that I will love you. Like I always did.  There is no place you can run to, there is nothing that you can do to make me love you less.

“Where in this whole thing did someone forget to tell me that family is actually a thing. A thing that little people want so badly they imagine themselves growing up to be a house so they have a place to put one?"

Learn to stay

“The sad part is that all we’re trying to do is not feel that underlying uneasiness. 

 The sadder part is that we proceed in such a way that the uneasiness only gets worse. 

The message here is that the only way to ease our pain is to experience it fully. 
Learn to stay. 
Learn to stay with uneasiness, learn to stay with the tightening, learn to stay with the itch and urge of shenpa, so that the habitual chain reaction doesn’t continue to rule our lives, and the patterns that we consider unhelpful don’t keep getting stronger as the days and months and years go by."

every bunny is kung fu fighting

Question  -  can we say that thes bunny can be a rabbit?  Just because I like that?
Vraag aan poes en schaap -  zouden deze konijnen voor een keer haas kunnen zijn?

Legends live Forever

Time for a blog again, it has been a whille.

These weeks seem to be the weeks in what the past is becoming present.

People that I havent contacted for a long time, all the sudden show up, people that I havent seen for a long time, all the sudden get into contact.  I love it, and it brings back so many good memories.  That is one of the advantages of growing older, the memories of the good times come up now and then, with a huge smile.  It can be a memory to a sad mment or to happy moments.
And sometimes it is a memory to a good time. Such as the Queen Era.  No, that never will end, but the longer the era grows, the more I tend to treasure the memories.  Of what was so good, time ago.
This week we did have the chance to join a queen related moment again. Spontaneously we decided to join 'freddie for a day', in memory of Freddies'  birthday and at the same time supporting the Mercury Trust (Aids foundation).  We went for it to Cologne, we were welcomed by a 'freddie for a day' typo, we went in and a familiar queen coverband was playing.  Well, the band itselves was not that familiar apart from the guitar player.  And the sound.. Okay.... it is NOT at all to be compared with the group that makes me live, but it are their songs, it are their words.  A very enthusiastic singer, and a very enthusiastic, small audience.  God, how nice it is to sing those songs just nice to have fun, clap the hands .. all we need is ....   And realizing how much we miss Freddie.

Yes, it is true. I live Queen, I breath Queen and I think I might bleed Queen as well. We DO miss Freddie, every day. And at the same time, his spirit is always in us.  Sending us a quote, a memory, a song, right at the moment that we can use it. And in that light it is nice to know how loyal Queen fans are. Not only to the music of their band, but as well to each other.

Those were the days. And Friends will be Friends
Forever
To end with one of my favorite lines

Legends Live Forever

“The people you love become ghosts inside you, and like this you keep them alive.”

~ Amber Brooke Jones