Behind the masquerade

 No, this time it is not a story about 'the masks', but about a mask.  A mask people can pu tup, to give others an inaccurate impression of themselfves.

Let name the man Arnie.
I know Arnie for a longer time.  We went together in a very intesnive training, what lasted 9 months. 
At our introduction to the training, Arnie was noticed by my colleagues. Someone asked him, if he could take off his hat, so that we could see how he looked without it.  
That was a legal request, we were all there supposed to be ourselves, and a hat, or so, could lead away from finding out who the real person is.
From that day on, I had a feeling in my stomach, that Arnie is not genuine. Arnie seemed to hide things. All the others in the group were honest, showed their feelings, and were as in a team. Arnie was an otusider.  He was always too late at our training, could not find a parking lot, forgot the date, or had planned double, he was doing some other projects similar to our schooling.  

In the months that followed, we became a very close group, knowing so much of ourselves, and of the others, as that we probably ontly talked about to our partners, and I am not even sure about that. :) 

Arnie remained a closed book. He was always leading away from the subject, with his 'adventures', a cold  a this, a that. But what was really the thing with Arnie, I could not find out.
At the end of our education, Arnie failed. He withdraw from the duties and 'should concentrate on his other projects'  Of course Arnie did not fail, and I was strongly confirmed that there was something what we not knew of Arnie.
Time went by, and Arnie found me on Facebook. Now Facebook is an open book, you can find so much about people there,  even without searching.
So, it appeared that Arnie had done a few more projects, that are all failed and ended.  I was not searchinf for it, just reading messages that passed by.

Now I was searching for another friend, finding out about the upcoming local elections here in Germany.  One of the parties, that I am intrested in, I watched closer.
And guess who  is on the list of proposed candidates for a position in the city council? 
Exactly, our Arnie.

I still have sympathy for the party, will not vote for Arnie, he is at a safe low place.
But, it all proved that my 'feelings from the belly' are right.
Arnie can impress people easily with his charmes, and it is no wonder that that happened again.

As a topping on the cake, I noticed that Arnie wrote as his profession 'Actor'.  
I think that that is one of the few tings of Arnie, that is true.

No, I will not tell anyone who Arnie is. None of you can know it. 

The lessson learned, and the lesson I have for us all, is, look further then the masquerade. Trust your belly, trust your feelings. If you doubt, you have reasons for it. 

I loved his meatballs, by the way!

The Ring Man Philosophy (part 1)

Some people think that they can continue, as if nothing has changed.

Other people may forgive, but not forget

I belong to those 'other people'.
Who hurts me once, I forgive.  Who hurts me twice, I will remember.  Who hurts me more, I will forget.

It is fully unfair, when you accuse me, and then, after the storm is over, just pretend that everything is like before.
Maybe I treated you wrong, or acted not as you expected. But the least you can do, is say I am sorry.
If you can not do that, I  consider that you are not sorry at all, and you do not know what you did. To me or to who else. It might be part of the roblem, that keeps you wondering, why you are, every time again, disappointed in people, in friendship or in relations.

If you think, that you not hurt me, then you know me not as well, as that you think.
if you can look behind my masquerade... then you are in my rings. You not need to fight your way out anymore, you are in. One closer, one further away.

If you, however, do not try to heal the damage, you will orbit out of the rings, in the dark space. And the chance that we meet (and possibly greet), are close to zero.

Fill in the puzzle, with names. Maybe I mean you. Maybe not. :)  You know it, and so do I

Hello again

 It's been a while, and I urgently need to update ny blog again! 

It is so cool, that I always can return here, to my private on line diary, available at all devices. 😊

It was a hot night, barely slept, and it is going to be a hot day. 

It is Sunday, also guess who is lazy today?

A tea (lol) and time for a longer email to my brother. He is a bit too quiet,  imho, so let me take the tiny step. Sozializing in the corona era!