I always have problems when the time comes that people that I miss have their memorable days. Birthday, for example. And I find it extreme difficult to accept that I have to miss someone, around those days.
When the memories come, to the days that all was so good and well, it is even more hard to accept that those days are over. People go their own way, partially from free will (I dont want/need you now), or because it is their time to leave.
And at those days I build up a high and huge wall, that I allow no one to come behind. It is just me and my sadness, being there. You might not see me at that moment. You might think that I am not there, but then you are wrong. I am there, you just dont see me. Maybe I am stronger there then you will ever realize.
And for sure I am stronger there, with you, then that you should allow me to come, when you knew that I was that close with you, right now.
One day you will understand me. For now I just say, I love you, I miss you. You're not there. But I am, both there and here.
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
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