Let go

All is for a reason

I wrote this afternoon a small poem, posted it at the most horrible public place that you can imagine (facebook), and I will add it here as well, below the picture. 

The picture came right into my inbox and it made the things clear.
The past is over. I might have done thngs wrong, but I can not keep on trying to bring things back, things that are gone.
How much I should love to, how much I should want to, but at the same time, how much I dont.

Not because it is scary, that's a false thought. But because it is hevy. I cant go on as much as I have to, when I keep that luggage at my shoulder. There is no place for it.

That's not bad, it is just a next step. And that step is already made long ago. The decision at that moment (and it doesnt matter if it is me who said, quit, or that the other said that thiis is the end), and i try to respect that.

Writing this down, again for the countless time means that I still struggle with it. And my poetry helps me to get forward. Just as some mesages, pictures, that tell me that I  am not the only one who went through such ... and came out better then before.

And no, it was no coincidence that this picture/message came in after that I wrote the poem

Or do you think different?

I try to resist
But it gets harder every day
I told myself I did forgot
But deep inside I did not

I did ignore
But it feels sour
It creeps into my blood
I wish I could understood

The temptation to open the door
The fear for what will become more
Is it better to shut the past
And enjoy the present blast

It is eating my heart out
and I cannot talk about
It is the struggle between I and me
Oooo, this pain, why cant you see